Snowballs
by dalekclock
Summary: Prompt from asgardiancharr for the Tasertricks Winter Exchange! Now with a follow up.
1. Chapter 1

_Prompt from asgardiancharr: "Loki takes away Darcy's "Queen of Snowball Fights" For himself as king."_

[Incoming Picture Message...]

(214:) Rematch? Xoxo -Meghan

"Hey, Jane. You might find this amusing." Darcy called to her boss, who was wrapping a sweater around her shoulders in the cold SHIELD lab. Jane strolled over to Darcy's station and looked at her iPhone screen. Displayed was a picture of a much younger Darcy Lewis, with pigtails and a puffy blue coat, pelting snowballs at another little girl.

"Aww! Look at the widdle Dawcy!" Jane cooed, zooming in on the photo. Loki, bored and curious, turned to face Darcy's phone screen. He chuckled, she hadn't changed one bit, apparently.

"Is this the cousin who's getting married, or the cousin on parole for identity theft?" asked Jane.

"That's Meghan, the wedding's in May," Darcy laughed. "Nancy's the one who bought sixteen plasma screens on her old boss' credit card...we don't hear from her much nowadays. Oh, by the way-" Darcy turned to

her main job at SHIELD:

"Loki, I'm going to Vermont for Christmas, meeting the poor bastard. You're going to have to stay with Jane and Thor for a few days."

"And why can't I accompany you to visit your relatives?" Loki raised an eyebrow.

"These are the erm...traditional relatives." Darcy winced. "The last time I brought a man to christmas...let's just say they invited him to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a surprise baptism."

"Wait," Jane interrupted. "I thought you were Jewish, Darce."

"My mom's Jewish" Darcy clarified. "Dad's agnostic, but his family are diehard christians. I'm afraid of what will happen when I bring home a Pagan Demigod. I don't want to spend a week hearing about how my soul will burn in Hell for eternity."

"As far as I'm concerned, Hell will be awesome!" Jane patted Darcy on the back. "We can go party with Darwin and Mae West once we check out. Hit up the third circle for some great Kurt Cobain concerts, screw Hemingway, it'll be fun!"

"Dibs on Fitzgerald." Darcy laughed. "Maybe me, him, and Zelda could get a little freaky."

Loki's throat went dry.

"Oh come on." Darcy punched Loki's arm lightly "it's a joke."

"Clearly." Loki scoffed. "What did your cousin mean by 'rematch?'" he asked, attempting to change the subject.

"Oh, when we were kids, Meghan and I had snowball fights every christmas eve. Even though we didn't have snow in New Mexico growing up, I would kick her ass. She dubbed me 'The Queen of Snowball Fights." Guess she wants a round two" Darcy segued.

"You? the 'Queen of Snowball Fights?'" laughed a familiar voice from the doorframe. "Honey, I grew up in Canada."

"Agent Hill," Jane nodded, grabbing a stack of files. "I take it you want these."

"Thank you, Dr. Foster." Maria replied, taking the manila folders from Jane's frail hands. "Mr. Stark will be happy to see these."

"Hey, Stark went to MIT, right?' Darcy asked, spinning in her chair towards Hill.

"Yeah, why?"

"MIT holds wicked snowball fights. They build robotic catapults and everything!"

"Oh, no no no no no." Loki stood up and waved his hands furiously.

"I know exactly where this is headed. We had this exact scenario two months ago. Darcy, wipe that look off your face."

"Come onnn" Darcy whined. "We've been cooped up inside all month rushing the quantum tunneling testing. There's a fresh two feet of snow outside! it'll be fun!"

"I could use a break," said Hill. "I can label a free hour as 'combat training' tomorrow in your timecards. Barton and Romanoff might be interested too. I'll send an email out."

"A snowball fight? People still have those?" Steve asked Bruce while polishing his shield.

"Yeah, and apparently Agent Hill is organizing a big one."

"I wonder what the teams will be?" inquired Tony, looking up from his computer. "Mutants vs. Humans? Assassins vs. Scientists?"

"Freaks vs. Geeks?" Bruce laughed. "I'm technically both, might have to be a double agent, Dark Knight Rises style-"

"Spoiler alert!" Tony glared at Bruce. "Pepper and I haven't seen it yet"

"Seriously?" Bruce laughed. "It's been what, four months?'

"Pepper refused to see any movies while she was pregnant, something about violent sounds harming the something or other."

A light knocking sounded from outside.

"It's the data fairy." Darcy called through the aluminum door. "Can you open up? My hands are full."

"Enter, yon faerie. Dost thou requireth tribute for your thoughtful gift?" Tony sneered, taking the massive stack of files from Darcy as she meandered inside.

"Just let me procrastinate in here for a minute, Jane's got that lets-work-through-lunch gleam in her eye," She sighed, perching herself on a stool next to Steve and staring at the snow through the lab window.

"Did you get Hill's email?" She asked Tony.

"Yeah, check this out," Tony smiled, spinning the monitor around to show the scientists his latest schematic. Detailed on the screen were plans for-

"Is that a snowball assault rifle?" asked Darcy, eyes wide.

"You bet your ass." Tony grinned. "With an inner cooling system of -40 degrees celsius."

"Stark," Bruce rubbed his temples. "At that temperature, snow will freeze to the point of becoming a lethal projectile. This is a snowball fight."

"No, this is for Natasha during her winter missions in Russia" Tony explained. "Snowball fights are meant to be mano-a-mano. It's how men do things. I just thought the data fairy would like to see."

"It's awesome, Mr. Stark" Darcy beamed. "So, you guys up for a little combat training tomorrow?"

* * *

"Alright, Cadets." Steve paced, his boots crunching the fresh snow. "General Patton once said that battles are fought with weapons, but are won by men!"

He looked at his team, blazoned with blue armbands and puffy jackets. Darcy felt incredibly short compared to the other members of their squadrant. Thor insisted on joining the festivities, remembering the winters on Midgard during the olden days. Clint was nonplussed, as was Banner, but Steve's nostalgia of his army days glowed like a lantern.

"We will set up a trench with a four foot wall over by this row of trees. The wind blowing the snow off the branches will give us maximum concealment. And, break!"

"Um, Steve?" Bruce raised his hand.

"What is it, Soldier?"

"A trench AND a four foot wall adds up to over six feet."

"And?"

"Some of us are short, Cap." Darcy added. "How about a two foot trench and a two foot wall, we can crouch."

"Good thinking. Alright men...and miss. Let's hop to."

"Okay, Ladies...and Loki." Tony adressed to his army, tightening the red armband around his bicep. "The day may come when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship-"

"Isn't that a line from Tolkien?" Natasha smirked. "Got some Hobbit fever there, Stark?"

"C'mon, Agent Romanoff. Be cool." Tony sighed. "Anyway, let's form two lines behind our barricade, one line throws ammo while the other reloads. It'll double our attack power. Move it!"

The two teams built their fortresses and poised themselves as Hill set an egg timer and ducked into place. With a satisfying 'ding,' the timer soon rang and snowballs began flying left and right. The whole thirty minute fight was a white blur of snow. Only when the final alarm buzzed did the fire cease. Catching their breath, the teams surveyed the fluffy white carnage. Most of Team Red's fortress was destroyed, while Team Blue's base remained minorly intact.

"So, who won this merry battle?" Thor smiled.

"Snowball fights don't really have winners, big guy." Darcy smiled. "They're about throwing ice at each other until you get bored."

"I see," Thor sighed, minorly dissapointed.

"Well, that was a waste of time." Loki sneered, the snow falling magically off of his black pea coat. "Are you quite content, Miss Lewis?"

"Almost." Darcy laughed. She wrapped her arms around Loki, kissing him triumphantly on the lips. The minute Loki's mouth relaxed, Darcy stuffed a massive snowball down the neck of his coat. Loki grinned, ignoring the cold.

"I'm a Frost Giant, love. It will take more than that-"

A snowball hit Loki's shoulder. He whipped around to see Jane giggling and molding another ball in her gloves.

"Challenge accepted, then?" Darcy called to the gang, who ominously circled the two. In a flash of sick smiles and swinging arms, Loki was pelted with icy snowball after icy snowball. When the firing squad ceased, he cackled and raised a gloved hand. From the snow rose ten perfectly spherical snowballs. He threw his hand forward and they went soaring in all directions, pelting everyone in sight. Natasha managed to catch hers and throw it back with pinpoint accuracy between Loki's eyes. Round two commenced, more brutal and cathartic than organized fight.

Back in his office, Nick Fury gazed out the window, watching the world's finest team of minds running around like children.

**_Happy Holidays, my fellow Tasertricksters! Love, DC._**


	2. Chapter 2

(515:) Yeah, I'm with Meghan right now, she's totally excited about the wedding! The ring is huge. Glad you flew back safe. I'll be back on New Years eve, see you then!

Darcy shut her phone and fumbled around for her apartment keys. She felt bad about lying, but she really needed the time alone after the massive family gathering. Upon wiggling her key into the lock, she realized her door was already open. Darcy panicked, removing her taser from her purse (SHIELD gave her a special pass to carry it through airline security, thank god.) Carefully charging it up, she kicked her door open. There stood a dark, looming figure in her kitchen.

"FREEZE! I'M ARMED-" She screamed, flicking on the lights. The man jumped back and crashed into the stove. It was Loki.

"Loki, what the hell?" Darcy exhaled, glad she wasn't being robbed. "I thought you were with Jane."

"And I thought you were miles away," Loki brushed himself off. He was't in his usual Asgardian regalia, but a heather grey sweater and slacks.

"I came back early," Darcy folded her arms. "Is that my sweater?"

"Well, yes," said Loki curtly. "It's a men's sweater anyway, Do you mind?"

"Whatever," Darcy threw her duffel bag down and hobbled to the kitchen. "I need an advil."

She filled the kettle on the stove with water and began raiding the medicine cabinet.

"So why are you back early, did something happen?" Loki asked, back leaning against the kitchen counter.

"No, it was fine" Darcy yawned. "I do this thing where I tell people I'm coming back three days later than I actually am. Then I shut off my phone, hide in my apartment, and enjoy the time alone."

"Decietful little gnat," Loki chided, swatting her arm. "To think you'd stick me with my brother and Dr. Foster for your own selfish purposes."

"I didn't stick you with anyone, apparently," Darcy shuffled to the kettle, which was whistling violently, and filled a mug.

"Why are you here, anyway?" She asked, reaching in vain for the peppermint tea on the top shelf.

"Same as you, I needed some privacy. Jane's quarters were getting rather crowded." Loki reached over her head and grabbed the box of teabags, handing it down to his short little parole officer.

"Thanks," she grumbled, "You want a cup?"

"Please," Loki grinned, removing another mug from the cupboard.

"So, I get the privacy thing, but why my sweater?" Darcy sneered, letting the tea steep. "You're usually dressed like David Bowie."

"It's 'vacation,' as you humans refer to it." Loki sighed, "I thought I'd be comfortable. Also it's easier to walk around New York in these clothes, unnoticed."

"You could walk around in a chicken suit and go unnoticed, it's New York." Darcy laughed, doubling back to her duffel and unzipping the side pocket. She pulled a brown paper bag and set it on the table, pulling an angel-shaped cookie and biting the head off.

"Want one?" Darcy asked, mouth full of sugar cookie.

"No, thank you." Loki sipped his tea, handing Darcy her mug. Darcy plucked the bag and the two moved to the sofa.

"So, is this the part where I ask you how your trip went?" Loki asked, nonchalantly.

"Oh, it was fine enough," Darcy smiled, reaching for another cookie. "Daniel, the finacee, is nice enough. Meghan's happy-" She paused to sip her tea.

"The hardest part is lying to them about where I work." Darcy rolled her eyes. "They think I'm a dental hygenist. One holiday I just want to tell them 'So I don't clean teeth. I actually work in the astrophysics department of a top secret government organization. My boss is marrying a Nordic deity, and I'm dating his brother. Oh, and I voted for Obama. Pass the stuffing?'"

"I can understand somewhat," Loki smiled slightly. "Growing up, it was all war stories and legends of warriors past. All I wanted to do was talk of magic and my research. I had to resort to cheap pranks, but nobody ever asked how I accomplished them."

"Dude," Darcy laughed. "Where were you during my 'Harry Potter' phase as a kid? I would have killed to see real magic! I even wrote a fake Hogwarts acceptance letter to myself when I turned 11."

Loki grinned mischeviously and waved his hand. Darcy's mug of tea suddenly transformed into a handful of garter snakes. She shrieked, dropping them into her lap.

"Apologies, did I startle-"

"They're so cute!" Darcy cooed, picking up the smallest one. "Aren't you adorable? Yes you are, yes you are!" As she played with it, the others dissappeared with a slight 'pop.'

"Not the reaction I expected," Loki smiled, ruffling Darcy's hair. "The maidens of Asgard often ran away in terror. Sif, however, began chasing them around with her toy sword, pretending they were dragons."

"B-but, how could you harm the little guy?" Darcy ran her index finger down the serpent's spine. "He's such a sweetheart!"

"You never cease to amaze me, Darcy Lewis." Loki sighed, kissing her forehead. Unfortunately, the snake was just an illusion, and it disappeared as well.

"So, what did you have planned for your night of solitude?" He asked.

"Oh, it doesn't matter," Darcy smiled. "I have a much better plan."

She pulled Loki forward into a clumsy kiss. He sneered before returning the favor, although much more gracefully than his paramour. Darcy tugged at his sweater, smiling seductively.

"I need that back."

* * *

_**So I wrote a follow-up drabble. Happy Boxing Day!**_

_**Love, DC**_


End file.
